Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Deep Thoughts from the Bachelor

Yes, I must admit that I watch the Bachelor. I have already heard it said that I have lost my man card. I understand how most guys can feel this way but I think there are tons of very important psychological items to chew over by watching the Bachelor.

Monday's night episode took place in San Francisco. The Bachelor, Jake, had several one-on-one dates with the ladies. The first one-on-one date was with a girl named Tenley. Tenley had been married before and her husband cheated on her so Jake was being cautious about whether or not Tenley was ready to fall in love again. Jake asked some questions about Tenley and her state of mind. After Jake's questions, Tenley posed a question that I think has me thinking about how I will tackle the difficult task of premarital counseling in the future. Tenley's question is, "What are your expectations of marriage or for a wife?"

This question is so deep on so many levels. First, Tenley made the comment that all people have expectations about marriage or about a spouse. I think often times people do have

preconceived notions about marriage but they do not articulate them before marriage. This creates many sources of frustration in the early days of marriage because we have expectations that we have not discussed with our spouse but we expect them to meet those or fulfill those.

Another point is that even though we think that we can understand what marriage is all about, we can never fully understand it until we are actually in it. You hear the same adage about not understanding what it's like to have kids until you have them. I agree 100%. You can give advice, you can share experiences, and you can try to prepare someone as much as you can but someone will not understand it completely until they are in it.

Another deep thought gained from the show was a quote from Vienna. Jake asked her what she thought marriage would be like? Vienna responded that she thought marriage would be like they were 2 16-year olds for the rest of their lives. I disagree with this sentiment so much. I want the spark, the passion to be there like we are young kids for the rest of my life. However, I believe that as you grow together, your relationship gets deeper and deeper. It changes. You go from young love, to an intimacy that makes you want to be a better person both for yourself but also for the one that you love.

The final deep thought that I learned from watching the Bachelor was how excited I was that one of the contestants was saving herself for marriage. Her name is Corrie. For me, it was so refreshing to hear that young women still believe in the sanctity of marriage. I was not raised in a Christian household but I hope that if I have daughters that they will have that choice for their lives and for their future spouse. And even though the Bachelor said that he respected her decision, he sent her packing. May she find the Man that God has in store for her!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Snow Day

Friday Morning started out like most Friday mornings. I got up before Kat left to make her coffee and wish her well as she went off to work. I had to pick my brother up from my parent's house and take him to Maury Regional for a Stress Test on his heart. He had some issues come up on Wednesday night and I had to rush him to the hospital to be checked over. They decided that he needed to have some more tests run to rule out heart problems.

As we arrived at the hospital at 10:15 am, the snow started to fall. As we got into the building and Shane filled out his paperwork, the snow had already covered the ground. As Shane went back for his test, the snow fell so hard it appeared liked blizzards in the movies. I started to get worried because I am from Tennessee and have never been in conditions like this. I called my wife and urged her to leave and go home but because her boss was in Nashville, she was unable to leave as early as I would have liked. Shane finished his tests at a little after 11 am and we hurried to leave. As we got outside, the snow was everywhere. We got into my Cougar which is a front-wheel drive vehicle and headed off. We were making progress by taking it slow and that is when I got the call from Kat that she had gotten stuck not far from the Hospital because of a bad hill, bad tires and her inability to get enough speed going up the hill.

Shane and I went to the rescue. We were able to get close and parked in the parking lot of the Autism Center. We hiked down to Kat's car and were able to get her turned around so that she could park in a lot. All three of us hiked back to my car and started off. My car was having trouble and I was having to rev my engine in order to move forward because I could not get very good traction. We finally made it to Bear Creek McDonald's and my parents picked us up from there. We called a neighbor to see if they could pick us up from the top of our neighborhood because they have a 4X4 truck. Our neighbor was actually just down the road and offered to pick us up at McDonald's.

They picked us up and we headed off. We went to pick our neighbor's kids up first and then headed to TSC to pick up some inter tubes so that we could go tubing down the hill. After that, we headed to Kroger to make sure that we had groceries for the weekend. We loaded up. Then we finally headed back to our neighborhood. The roads were covered so we decided to take a back way that Kat and I had never been down. It is actually almost like a hidden way into our neighborhood. It was such an adventure.

When we got home, Kat and I unloaded our groceries and just relaxed on the couch. After just a short time, we heard our neighbors and their kids coming up the hill with the tubes ready for more fun. Kat and I joined in the fun. By the end of the night, we were having a great time. We even added water to the hill so that we could go faster.

Our neighbor asked if they could bring some chili over for us all to share. They grabbed the chili and we all had a great meal. The chili was fantastic. We ended the evening by playing a game of Apples to Apples. It was a day of twist and turns, ups and downs, but in the end it was an adventure. It was a day I will never forget. Thank you God for family and great friends that are there when you need them.