Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Total Failure

I created this blog with a new name and a new direction to keep up the balancing act of trying to be a dad, a husband, a friend and a pastor. Well, my Jenga game, a.k.a. my life, just came tumbling down because I have not posted anything since November. I could give you every excuse in the book; travel, sickness, new responsibilities, adoption, kids, poopy diapers, and the list goes on but really each of those is just an excuse.

I am not even going to try and say things are easy or simple because they are not but Life is Good. Our children are wonderful and each day with them is a new treasure from God. I fall more in love with my wife everyday watching as she continues to become the woman that God created her to be. I love my friends, family and co-workers more than I could possibly put into words.

But even when things seem to be going great, life happens. If you take your eye off of the prize for one second, you may fall. I feel like I took my eyes off of Jesus during this time period of my life. I for sure praise Him for all of the amazing blessings but I was not consumed by him, I was not driven by his love and I have been left feeling empty. This season of my life I began to wonder can a person love God but not be in Love with God and I have come to the realization that the answer is an abundant NO. If you began to feel this way or walk this way, you are becoming lukewarm and there is nothing worse than a lukewarm follower.

As I search and pray, may you take an honest look at your own walk and see if you are on-fire for God or has your spark fizzled? May God consume every aspect of our lives in such a way that our spark will never go out.


Mchelle said...

"Life" does happen, and children are AMAZING. I have found that I do have to change how I live and pray in God's world. It's hard, and after 4 years we still haven't gotten it completely figured out. I just found that in the meantime, I can't beat myself up because I am a work in progress... Our LIFE is a work-in-progress, and the children see how I react in God's world. Congrats by the way, but I know it's hard work (and draining as well). We have little ones about the same age, but I am not enduring the trials of an international adoption. We all have our struggles though... And I rest easy (I hope after 4 nights without) knowing that God loves us, and that I have taught our children this above all other things. ~Lots of love from the Winn Family (Chris, Michelle, Alex & Carly)

Jodi said...

Derek - I love you and appreciate your brutal honesty and transparency! We are all human and we all take our eyes off when life gets busy. Praying for you as you adjust to fatherhood and trusting that we ALL learn to "balance" our faith with our everyday life.